FADJIWA
Fadjiwa
was working in a brothel as a bar tender when we met.
Exposed to violence from a young age, she told me ‘I
can deal with this world, I can deal with that
attitude.’ Her father was aggressive and her mother
kicked him out of the house when Fadjiwa was
four-years-old. Things didn’t get much better with
mother’s next boyfriend and Fadjiwa left home at the
age of fourteen. But the violence didn’t stop: her
boyfriend beat her and she lived a life where the
focus was on making money and making it fast.
When the lows became so low that she started to question her reasons to live, Fadjiwa sought psychiatric help. Slowly, she began deal with her life choices and with herself. Then, somewhere along the way, she found herself with a camera in her hands and fell in love with photography. A year later she applied to the Willem Konning art academy with a small portfolio. It felt like a shot in the dark, but she was admitted.
In between our first and second meetings, she left her job at the brothel following an incident. Instead of staying, she found the power to say to herself ‘NO, I deserve better than that’. She got up and left, deciding to leave her life of aggression and fast money behind her as she went.
The second time we met, she was simply dressed and no longer wearing make up. With amazing honesty she told me her story, laughing each time it got difficult. We talked for a long time. She’s someone who’s rolled with every punch the ‘system’ can throw at a young woman in the Netherlands today. From her story it’s clear that what the system doesn’t throw at you is love and, as troubled youth, that’s what you need. Fadjiwa is not angry at the system and she’s not angry with her mom, she understands her now. With her dad its different, they’re not in touch.
Now she’s jobless and waiting for her first year at the art academy to begin. A new world is opening up for her: she’s re-examining her values and has begun to find a sense of self worth. She’s met a new boyfriend (an artist who cares for her in a way she hasn’t experienced before) and is looking forward to discovering new ways to express herself as a photographer. Curious about everything on the other side of my camera too, she feels alive and is thirsty for inspiration. She hopes to travel and meet people – to smell them, feel them and enjoy life.
‘Now I can taste the other side of life. I don’t need to just survive anymore!’
When the lows became so low that she started to question her reasons to live, Fadjiwa sought psychiatric help. Slowly, she began deal with her life choices and with herself. Then, somewhere along the way, she found herself with a camera in her hands and fell in love with photography. A year later she applied to the Willem Konning art academy with a small portfolio. It felt like a shot in the dark, but she was admitted.
In between our first and second meetings, she left her job at the brothel following an incident. Instead of staying, she found the power to say to herself ‘NO, I deserve better than that’. She got up and left, deciding to leave her life of aggression and fast money behind her as she went.
The second time we met, she was simply dressed and no longer wearing make up. With amazing honesty she told me her story, laughing each time it got difficult. We talked for a long time. She’s someone who’s rolled with every punch the ‘system’ can throw at a young woman in the Netherlands today. From her story it’s clear that what the system doesn’t throw at you is love and, as troubled youth, that’s what you need. Fadjiwa is not angry at the system and she’s not angry with her mom, she understands her now. With her dad its different, they’re not in touch.
Now she’s jobless and waiting for her first year at the art academy to begin. A new world is opening up for her: she’s re-examining her values and has begun to find a sense of self worth. She’s met a new boyfriend (an artist who cares for her in a way she hasn’t experienced before) and is looking forward to discovering new ways to express herself as a photographer. Curious about everything on the other side of my camera too, she feels alive and is thirsty for inspiration. She hopes to travel and meet people – to smell them, feel them and enjoy life.
‘Now I can taste the other side of life. I don’t need to just survive anymore!’